


If You're Leaving Earth, Bring Enough Antidepressants

by LilithGloor



Series: How to handle Things™ in space [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depressed Keith (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, I don't like Allura very much I'm sorry for anyone who really loves her, Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, M/M, Mentions of Suicide Attempts, Shiro (Voltron) is Missing, voltron returns to earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-03-16 20:52:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13644213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithGloor/pseuds/LilithGloor
Summary: Keith has finally run out of antidepressants, his team still has problems with him being a Galra and the only team member who doesn't seem to mind at all is missing in action. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.





	1. Worst Day

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I've never had depression. I wrote this inspired by some things I read about and by depressed people but I haven't experienced anything like this myself.

Keith had known that he'd run out of antidepressants. He was in space and sure, he'd packed a lot more than usual when they went to find the blue lion as if he'd known he wouldn't come back for a long time but that didn't last forever. So the day where he swallowed the last pill was a much dreaded day. But he survived... thus far. For maybe a month he was... okay. He didn't sink too deep, didn't even have much time to overthink because they were so busy fighting the Galra.

But then he made the mistake of trying to find out where his knife had come from. He'd longed to know for a long time and now that an opportunity presented itself he couldn't let it slide. But he should have known. Should have known that if the opportunity had anything to do with Galra and his heritage he shouldn't figure it out while on a team who fought Galra. Especially not when he was as mentally fragile as he was off antidepressants. But he did it anyway and now he knew he was part Galra and his team hated him. Well, not all of them. Shiro didn't. And others were awkward and uncertain around him. They didn't trust him anymore and that hurt.

Keith knew he needed their support and he knew he needed to tell them. But now he could do that even less even though he needed it more than ever.

So he didn't do anything, gave his best during missions and fought against his negative mind alone. Until he couldn't anymore.

While on antidepressants he had good, okay and bad days. But off medication that turned to okay, bad, worse and worst. Okay and bad he could handle. On worse days he could function. But the worst days... well.

When he woke up he knew it was one of those days. Or rather, he woke up and after lying in bed for half an hour doing absolutely nothing it crossed his mind that, yeah, this was one of the worst days.

Briefly, it crossed his mind that he should get up, to keep up appearance if nothing else. Then his brain helpfully supplied that the others hadn't noticed how shitty he'd been feeling and would probably be glad that they didn't have to be around him.

So he just buried himself deeper in his blankets and didn't even attempt to do anything.

Much like he expected no one came to bother him. He vaguely remembered Shiro talking about something he had to do but... oh, no, that had been much longer ago and currently Shiro was MIA and Voltron leader-less. Keith shuddered minutely but otherwise didn't move. He didn't have the energy.

He wasn't sure how long he lay like that, kind of drifting at the edge of sleep but never quite toppling over into sweet oblivion. Instead, his mind was poison and it hurt constantly but there was nothing Keith could do because by then he'd fallen enough into 'worst day mode' that even breathing became a difficult task. Being alive became difficult and more pointless the longer he let himself wallow in his thoughts. He needed someone to get him out of this. He hated it, being dependant on others just to stay functioning. And even more he hated that no one on this ship would.

They were a team but... Keith had always been the loner, the odd one out, the outcast. The revelation that he was Galra had just driven them apart a little further.

All of this, while very present, felt muted. Like he was a bystander in his own life like he was watching it happen on TV as if a blanket had been thrown over his consciousness as if he were living behind a fog. He supposed he should be thankful because otherwise his suicidal tendencies might turn into suicide attempts.

An unexpected knock disrupted his... could it even be called a state of being?

Slowly his eyes drifted to the door, questioning his hearing abilities. But then there was another knock, this time more forceful. A few more knocks followed when Keith didn't answer and a shout of his name. Keith was sure now that he was miss hearing it because it sounded like Lance and what did he want?

"Keith, if you don't protest I'll just come in." That was definitely Lance. The voice, the tone, the meaning were all Lance. But what did he want in Keith's room?

When Keith still didn't move the door opened to reveal a frowning Lance. "Keith?"

Keith didn't move and it took Lance a moment to spot him, after which he walked over to the bed. Only Keith's eyes followed his steps.

"Keith, are you okay?" Lance asked, worry evident in his voice and the lines on his face.

Keith didn't move.

Lance knelt down to be at eye level with Keith. "Hey, buddy. I noticed you haven't been feeling very well but just not showing up... what happened?"

Keith blinked. He'd noticed?

Lance reached out and poked Keith's shoulder. "Keith? You in there?"

Keith blinked again.

"Keith, you're worrying me and I don't know how to deal with that!" Lance said.

Keith slowly opened his mouth because, well, if Lance bothered to worry about him he might as well get an answer. But nothing came out.

"Okay, we're... making progress. You are alive then, that's good. That's good. Uhm, is this a Galra thing? Because I realised I don't know shit about Galra and I'm not sure I could help you." Lance cocked his head and looked surprisingly not disgusted by the mention of Galra.

Keith managed to shake his head minutely. Searching the castle's database and subtly asking members of the Blade of Marmora had only returned the result that mental illnesses of the depression kind weren't a thing in Galra.

"So, it's a human thing?"

Keith nodded minutely.

"Great! I know stuff about humans, I am human. But I still don't know how to help you. Ugh!" Lance straightened up and paced around the room. "Hmpf. What"- he waved his hands around in search of a word -"makes humans lie in their bed all day and not move at all? Think Lance! Why would I lie in bed all day? I wouldn't! Okay, so it's not something I would do so it's not ADHD. Well, no kidding. Also, you don't have ADHD." Lance glanced at Keith. "Buddy, can't you help me out so I can help you?"

Somewhere behind the fog, Keith had felt a spark of amusement at Lance's rambling. Now that Lance was looking to him for help Keith felt it like a burden on top of his mind. He couldn't help, that was why he needed help because he could literally do nothing at all.

"Okay, no, but we'll figure it out despite that. Hm, you aren't feeling well, correct?"

Keith nodded even though it was an understatement.

"Okay... well, I'd want cuddles, do you want cuddles?" Lance looked at Keith not really expecting a yes, but Keith nodded, even though it was a little more hesitant. Lance's face lit up with a smile. "Yes, that's something I can do!"

He practically jumped over to Keith's bed, toed his shoes off and carefully crawled behind Keith to spoon him. If Keith had had the energy he'd tensed up but he didn't so he lay soft in Lance's arms.  
"Hm, do you want me to tell you about Cuba?" Lance asked because god forbid he was quiet for too long.

Keith nodded once more and Lance launched into tales of his birthplace while he cradled Keith in his arms.

Keith let his voice wash over him only picking up maybe 10% of what Lance was saying but it was okay because there was another person, holding him, worrying about him, caring for him. He felt warmth seep back into his bones and the fog lifted slightly.

When Lance paused at the end of his description of the Valles de Viñales Keith found his voice. "Depression," he muttered.

Lance, who had held his head far enough that wasn't speaking directly into Keith's ear, moved a bit closer. "Sorry, didn't catch that."

"I have clinical depression," Keith said, voice a little steadier, "that's why... yeah. I also ran out of antidepressants."

"Oh, no." Lance tightened his hold a fraction. "Do you want to go back to earth to get new ones? Or do you want to try finding something in space?"

"Can we- I mean- Could we- I-" Keith cut himself off and took a deep breath. "Earth. There's a lot to mess up in someone's brain and earth antidepressants have enough side effects. And I have the guarantee that they work for me."

Keith could feel Lance's nod. "Okay. How do you want to do it? Who do you want to come with you? Because I'm not letting you go anywhere alone in this state."

Keith shrugged. "I don't- I don't mind." He wanted to ask Lance to come with him but... hadn't he done enough?

Lance hummed. "I'll come with you but I'm sure Hunk and Pidge miss earth just as much as I do. Would you mind if they came along?"

Keith shook his head. "I don't mind."

"Okay. Do you... do you want me to tell them? Or would you prefer to keep it to yourself?"

"You can tell them," Keith said, "I just... couldn't."

"Okay." Lance softly stroke through Keith's hair.

They lapsed into comfortable silence until Keith fell asleep feeling more hopeful than he had in a long while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm publishing this as a one-shot but if you really want to I might continue writing this. I have a few ideas.


	2. Plans and Food

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a lot of people liked the first chapter, which is why I'm posting this one. There will be a few more probably though I'm not sure how many.
> 
> I don't have a real plan where I'm going with this, which is a bit unusual for me, but let's try it out.
> 
> Irregular updates are all I can promise.

When he woke up his bed was empty and he wondered whether it had just been a dream. Nevertheless, it was only a bad day so he got up and took a shower while ignoring the persistent voice telling him all sorts of thing to make him feel worse.

Just as he left the bathroom the door opened and revealed Lance who immediately beamed when he saw Keith was up. "Hi! Glad to see you up. You didn't eat anything yesterday sooooo do you mind if I drag you to breakfast?"

Keith felt his lips curl into a smile. "You don't even need to drag me."

Lance smiled even wider if possible and they started walking to the dining room. "Soooo, I told the others. No bad reactions, promise. Pidge and Hunk are mostly ashamed that they didn't notice earlier and Allura and Coran are horrified because depression isn't something known to Alteans. Anyway, we have a plan. All the humans go to earth in only one lion while Allura and Coran stay behind. We didn't think it was a good idea to approach earth with the castle and since we can't form Voltron at moment we don't want to risk any lion that doesn't need to be risked. We're assuming the Galra are keeping an eye out for activity near earth. We'll be taking Green because Pidge can make her invisible. You on board with that plan?"

Keith nodded. It sounded like a sound plan that took all the risks he could think of into consideration. "And on earth?"

"We haven't decided on that." Lance shrugged. "We also want your input for that."

Keith nodded.

Just before the door to the dining room, Lance paused. "Hey, I, well, I remember reading that depressed minds often drag especially non-verbal cues into the negative so I want to say it, you know, with words. Yes, it was a shock to find out you're part alien, the kind of alien we're constantly fighting, no less, but no, I never lost trust in you and I most definitely never hated you. You're still Keith. You're still the Red Paladin. You're still part of the team. And I'll fight whoever tries to change that."

Keith's eyes glistened with tears and when Lance hugged him a few of them fell. "Thank you, I needed to hear that," Keith mumbled into Lance's neck.

Lance squeezed him tighter. "Anytime. If you need me to say it again just ask. I'll repeat it until it won't get out of your head anymore."

Keith smiled. "Thank you. Also, thank you for getting me out of... that yesterday. And for being so understanding. And for being here. And for being you."

Lance laughed. "Now you're getting cheesy. But... you're welcome. Anytime. I'm here for you."

Keith squeezed him.

Then they separated and entered the dining room. The rest of the team was already present and looked up from their food goo.

Pidge jumped up and came over to hug Keith. "Hey, I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier. I should have. But I'm glad I know now. You can ask me for any help you want, yeah?"

Keith hugged them back. "It's okay and I'll try."

Hunk hugged the both of them. "I'm sorry, too. And if you need someone bigger you can come to me."

"Hey!" Pidge protested but Keith chuckled so they let it slide.

When they released Keith from the hug Coran addressed him. "We don't understand what exactly this depression is but what we've been told so far is kind of horrifying. I admire your bravery, that you got this far with your head held high and I also offer my help in any way I can."

Allura nodded in agreement and honestly, Keith wasn't expecting more from her, not since she'd found out he was part Galra.

Nonetheless, he felt a smile grow on his face. "Thank you all. I appreciate it a lot."

"We appreciate you." Lance lightly bumped his elbow against Keith while passing him on the way to the table with two portions of food.

Keith felt his heart melt and he followed Lance to the table before anyone could notice he'd been turned into a happy puddle.

"So, earth," Hunk said after they all sat down and Lance and Keith started to eat. By then the others had finished already. "We're going there. What should we do once there?"

"Well, first off, how easily can you get your antidepressants?" Pidge turned to Keith.

He shrugged. "I still have a prescription so I can just go to the pharmacist. I just need to convince them to give me more than the usual amount since we can't go back to earth too frequently to get them. It still won't take very long."

"We can always go back to earth to ensure your well being," Lance said between spoons of goo, "do you want someone to come with you?"

Keith hesitated a moment, moving the goo around on the plate. "No, I'd rather not."

"Okay. But I want you to be able to reach at least one of us at all times. Is that possible, Coran?" Lance looked at the ginger man.

"Sure thing." He twirled his moustache.

"Great! Uhm, is there anyone on earth you'd want to see?" Lance was suddenly cautiously glancing at Keith.

Keith shook his head. "Not really."

"So, how long do you think you'll need to get your meds?" Lance continued, surer of himself again at Keith's more or less indifferent reaction.

"Hm, working generously... maybe 2 hours including the way there and back? The way once on earth, obviously."

"Question: Do we want to inform the Garrison? Or even go there?" Pidge asked.

"Shouldn't we keep a low profile? Inform as little people as possible. Just in case," Hunk said.

"I agree," Keith said around his spoon.

"I also think we'd need, well, I think Shiro should be with us when we pay them a visit," Lance said and the mood darkened immediately, "so we should wait with that until after we found him."

They all agreed with that.

"Hey, there's another thing we all want from earth..." Keith made a dramatic pause when everyone looked at him. He held out his spoon full of goo. "Food."

Pidge threw themselves unto the table. "Oh my god, yesssss! I need some peanut butter or something."

"Just a normal sandwich would be enough but I need it!" Hunk groaned.

"Congri!" Lance exclaimed, which confused even the humans. 

"Seriously! I haven't talked to you about congri? It's all we ever eat in Cuba!"

"What is this Congri?" Coran asked.

"Christianos y Moros." Lance smirked now clearly making a game out of it.

"Racism?" Keith asked.

Lance laughed. "No, it's arroz con frijoles."

"Ah," Keith said understanding that bit of Spanish.

"It's rice with black beans," Lance finally explained to the rest although the Alteans didn't understand much better.

"Anyway, my point was that you'll probably want to spend more than four hours with your families, so I've got some more time. Make me a shopping list and I'll go buy all the things I can carry," Keith offered.

A moment of silence stretched between them.

"Oh my god, that would be awesome if that really doesn't bother you," Hunk said.

"It really doesn't. I'll get my antidepressants, do some- a lot of shopping and then I'll find some wifi and download all the music and books I could want," Keith said, "that honestly sounds like a nice trip to me."

The others looked dubious for a moment.

"Oh, but that means I do have to get back to my house in the desert because my tablet's there and it's got a lot more storage than my phone," Keith mused.

"Okay, then I have a plan. Or a suggestion for a plan," Pidge said, "we fly to earth in the green lion. Once there I drop off Lance and Hunk in their respective homes, then Keith and I fly to his house and he gets his stuff. Then we'll fly to my house unless my mother moved there's a big mall not too far away so I can go to my mom and Keith can go to the mall to do some shopping. Good so far?" Nods all around the table and Pidge continued. "Then after... I don't know, sometimes we'll agree upon Keith comes back to my house, I'm sure my mother will lend you our car to get around and transport the tons of food you'll buy for us all, and then we'll load that into green, fly back around to get Lance and Hunk and then we'll return to the castle. How does that sound?"

"Like a sound plan," Keith said, "I like it."

They chatted some more about details and settle on eight-hour stay deciding that was as much as they could risk and a reasonable time to get everything done. Then they were free to do whatever while Coran and Allura worked on the best leaving time for them to be on earth at a reasonable hour in the States. They wouldn't risk communicating with them so they also had to set up a time window when to open and close the wormhole.

Once outside the room, Lance stopped Keith who was headed for the training room. "Hey, I just wanted to make sure you're really fine with this plan."

Keith smiled softly at him. "Thank you for worrying but yes, I'm really fine with our plan."

"And I don't have to worry about you while we're on earth?"

Keith nodded. "No cause for worrying."

Lance sighed. "Okay, good. I'll go make my shopping list then."

Their ways separated until something crossed Keith's mind. "Hey, Lance," he called out, "don't you have meds for your ADHD?"

Lance turned around and his neck. "Yeah, I do but, well, I forgot them on earth. Never had any with me in space. But I haven't been on medication for too long so it wasn't such a shock when I went off again."

"Do you want me to- No, I can't actually get you any ADHD meds," Keith said.

Lance smiled. "Yeah, kind of illegal for you."

Keith sighed. "Will you get some?"

Lance shrugged. "I don't know yet. If my family's in Cuba I have the problem that I don't have a prescription in Cuba and they might not have any around but there's free health care. And if they're in the US I have a prescription but I don't know where it is and it cost a ton."

Keith pulled Lance into a short embrace. "You'll figure it out."

Then he turned and walked to the training area with a fast beating heart. He knew exactly what it was about Lance that made his pulse jump but calmed him at the same time. That didn't mean he'd act on that anytime soon.


	3. Let's Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but I felt it was right to cut it off there.

"Keith?" Lance's voice rang through the training room. Then Lance spotted him and worry crept into his voice. "Keith, are you okay?"

Keith turned his head. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Lance jogged over to him. "Why are you lying on the floor if you're fine?"

"Depression takes all your energy away," Keith said, "I stumbled and fell down. And then just... didn't care enough to get back up again."

"Well, that's not gonna work," Lance said and held out a hand to Keith.

He took it and got up on somewhat stable legs. He may have hit his knees when falling down and he may not care.

"We're going to earth in two hours," Lance announced.

Keith raised his eyebrows. "That's soon."

"Yep. You on board with that?"

"Sure. Do we need to do anything before that?"

"You need to shower and change. I don't think it's advisable to walk into a supermarket wearing paladin armour. And everyone needs to give you their shopping list and Coran needs to give us the communication devices that don't need a helmet. Otherwise, we're good to go," Lance said while already tugging Keith towards his room.

"K, sounds good." Keith rubbed his eyes. He'd definitely spent too much time staring at the ceiling of the training room.

Lance shoved Keith into his room. "Great. Now, shower and human clothes. I'll be back in half an hour because we don't want you to drown in carelessness, do we?"

Keith sent him a small smile and then entered the bathroom with a positive tingling in his heart.

Half an hour later Keith had somehow managed to shower and change into human clothes when Lance knocked at the door. "Keith? Are you dressed?"

Keith opened the door with spread arms. "Yes."

Lance beamed. "Great! C'mon, Coran's gonna show us how these communication devices work. I hope we'll look like super cool secret agents or something."

Lance began rambling while Keith just listened with a fond smile.

Until suddenly Lance cut off his rambling to ask, "am I annoying?"

Keith frowned. "No, you're not. Why would you think that?"

Lance let out a breath of relief. "Okay, good. Because I'm talking so much but you're so quiet."

"I don't really have the energy to talk," Keith said, "so it's nice to just be able to listen to you."

Lance perked up. "Okay, good. Then I'm going to continue." And he continued rambling.

An hour later Coran and Allura had wished them good luck and they had all piled into the green lion. It was a bit tight since she was the smallest lion but they managed.

They flew out of the castle and Coran repeated his instructions one last time.

"...and turn the timer on after you went through the wormhole and be back at that point in ten hours for the next wormhole. Stay safe, attract as little attention as possible. If you see any Galra right after passing through come straight back. If you see them later you're on your own."

"So if I see Keith I gotta turn around?" Pidge asked jokingly.

Even Keith snorted at that and the tension lessened a little.

"If you see any enemy Galra you turn around," Coran corrected himself.

"So if I see myself I should tell Pidge to turn around? Because I am my own worst enemy?" Keith asked.

"We're working on that, aren't we?" Lance put a hand on Keith's shoulder.

Keith smiled at Lance as Pidge flew the green lion closer to the wormhole and turned on the invisibility just before entering.

The tension came back immediately as they all awaited the sight the other side would hold for them.


	4. Return

What greeted them was rather anticlimactic. There were no Galra and earth was still too far away to be seen clearly. They had landed on the outer edge of their solar system, about where they had left it. Just that Pluto and Kerberos had moved on so we were surrounded by nothing more than asteroids.

The wormhole disappeared and nothing else happened.

"To earth, then," Pidge said.

"To earth!" Lance shouted in excitement.

The crew laughed and Pidge directed the green lion towards the blue planet in the inner circle of planets.

They were there faster than any human-made spaceship would have been and Pidge asked, "Lance, where can I find your family?"

"What's the date?" Lance asked.

"Uh." Pidge took a moment to access the information of a nearby satellite orbiting the earth. "27th of July."

"Cuba, in that case," Lance said, "I should be able to direct you once we see the island."

"Okay," Pidge said and started their descent into earth's atmosphere. There was some fire but the lion was built to withstand that so they went down into the stratosphere without a struggle.

Their eyes greedily sucked in the sight of the sea that stretched out before them and then the island that came into view.

Pidge checked the coordinates. "That's Haiti," they said, "we're close."

Lance started fidgeting more than usual as they neared his home island.

Another long stretched island came into view.

"That's Cuba," Lance said just before Pidge could verify the coordinates.

Lance directed them around the island to a little-populated area and once they were closer to the ground, still invisible, and they could make out the features of the people below them, he pointed at a figure and shouted, "that's my mom!"

"Okay, I'll find a place to land then," Pidge said.

Lance was jumping up and down. "I'm going to see my mom again. I'm going to see my mom again!" He tugged at Keith's arm and squealed.

Keith patted him on the shoulder. "Yeah. You'll see her again and you can talk to her. And you know what? You can see and talk to the rest of your family, too."

Lance squealed again, a fact he would deny later, and was unable to hold still due to his excitement.

Then he went still very suddenly and everyone knew something was wrong.

"What if they're mad and don't even want to see me?" he whispered.

Hunk pulled his best friend into a hug. "Unlikely. I bet they were worried sick and maybe your mom will lecture you about disappearing without saying goodbye but ultimately they'll all be extremely glad that you're still alive and well. I think they're more likely to not want to let you go again."

Lance relaxed and laughed. "You're right." Then he began jumping up and down again. "I'm going to see my family!"

Pidge landed the lion and she opened her mouth. "Be back here in eight hours," they said with a smirk in Lance's direction.

Lance hugged his three friends quickly then ran out of the lion to where he'd spotted his mother.

Pidge directed the lion right back to the sky. "Okay, Hunk you're next."

Hunk directed them to the states where his family lived. "What I told Lance was right, right?"

"As in 'it was the right thing to say' or 'it's true'? Because yes to both," Pidge said.

"Good, I'm just... worried for nothing I guess," Hunk said.

"It's okay to worry about nothing every now and then," Keith said.

Hunk smiled at him. "You have experience with that?"

Keith laughed. "More than I would want."

"That one," Hunk suddenly yelled pointing out the window at one of the houses.

"Okay," Pidge said and looked for a safe place to land.

"Do you think they're home?" Hunk asked. There hadn't been any lights on in the house. Then again, the sun was shining.

"It's Sunday," Pidge said, "do they usually go out on Sunday?"

Hunk shook his head. "Not usually."

"They'll be there," Keith tried to reassure him.

Pidge nodded. "You'll find them."

Hunk sighed. "Okay. I hope you two are right."

He hugged his friends goodbye and made his way out of the lion.

"Have fun," Pidge shouted and Hunk gave them a thumbs up.

Green rose into the air once more.

"Next destination: the desert," Pidge announced.

Keith snorted. "We'll probably have to be more careful there. If the Garrison is looking anywhere it's in that desert."

Pidge nodded. "True. But we'll be fine. Alien technology is far above our earth technology and I don't just know how to use it, I know how to hack it. The Garrison is no match for us."

"Yes, but we don't want to attract their attention."

"That's why I said hack not destroy. Because I can do both. You're more on the destroy side," Pidge said.

"Excuse me! Who disabled Zarkon's ship's defences?"

"If I remember correctly, that exploded right afterwards. Am I right?" Pidge winked at him.

Keith sighed. "Yeah, I guess."

"Anyway, it's more Red who destroys things because you got hurt which isn't really your doing," Pidge said.

Kieth hummed.

"She loves you a lot," Pidge said.

Keith smiled. "I love her, too." _The only time I'll ever say that. Gosh, I'm too gay for this world_ , Keith added in his mind.

Pidge smiled, too. "Our lions are great, aren't they?"

"They are. More to the right."

They were flying over the desert by then and only Keith really knew where they were going.

Not much later the shack came into view.

"Let's see what we got here," Pidge said and turned on the scanners for any electronic or communication devices that could be hacked.

There wasn't a signal for a while until...

"Aha!" Pidge dragged some holographic keyboards and what not in front of their front window. "A camera. But only one it seems. And it's fixed on the shack. Now, dear darling, if you could please repeat the images of the last few minutes for a bit"- they tapped on the hologram -"thank you. And... yeah, that's the only one. They probably didn't think we - or anyone else - would show up here. But we're good to go."

They landed the green lion firmly in front of the shack.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Pidge asked.

"Sure," Keith said and made his way out of the lion.

Pidge followed and stopped him before he could open the door. "Wait a second. Something seems weird. Different from when we were last here."

Keith cocked his head and looked at the house with narrowed eyes. "Pidge, I lived here and I can't see anything out of order."

Pidge shrugged after a moment. "Okay, let's go in then."

Keith opened the door and immediately regretted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, I'm really fond of cliffhangers, oops


	5. Explosions

The stench that hit them was horrible.

"God! What did you have in here?" Pidge exclaimed while covering their nose.

"Food," Keith said coughing at the terrible smell, "I didn't really think we'd be gone long enough for it to get this bad."

"Then let's avoid the kitchen, get your stuff and get out as fast as possible," Pidge said.

Keith looked at them. "The kitchen is the same room as the living room. Which is the first room we enter."

Pidge groaned. "Okay, I'm not coming in with you then."

"Understandable." Keith covered his mouth with his shirt and braved the house.

As hastily as he could he gathered everything worth taking and threw it all in a duffle bag. There really wasn't much so it fit without a problem. After one last look, he left the house in a hurry.

"Let's set the thing on fire." He said once outside and breathing fresh desert air again. Which wasn't really fresh but better than the shack any day.

Pidge raised their eyebrows.

"C'mon, I got everything out I'd want from here. I'll never come back here. If we leave it someone might even notice the things are gone. And I kind of want to see the thing get blown up," Keith said.

At the last sentence, Pidge's frown turned into a sly smirk. "Blow shit up, I can do that. I may or not have a self-destructing bomb in my hangar. Self-destructing as in it won't leave any pieces behind. Because every bomb is kind of self-destructing."

"Brilliant!"

They got the bomb and Keith installed it. Then they got back into the Green Lion, flew out of sight of the camera and Pidge let the camera film live once more.

They only had to wait a few more seconds before the bomb detonated, causing a giant explosion due to the gases in the house.

"Beautiful," Pidge said.

"A work of art," Keith agreed.

They high fived and Pidge turned the lion. "Let's get out of here, this won't go unnoticed for long."

"Oh shit, I may have forgotten about that."

Pidge laughed and let the lion speed towards their hometown.

Only a few minutes later they landed in their family's backyard. "Now we just gotta hope she didn't move. I don't think she could, though."

"The question is: is it more painful to live in the house she inhabited with the family members she believes dead or to give the house away?" Keith asked.

"She's a hoarder," Pidge said, "last time I asked she still had my very first stuffed animal. I don't think she could let go."

"That's good for us then. How do you want to go about doing this?"

"I'm not sure? Should I just walk in and say 'hey mom, I'm not dead'?" Pidge looked slightly panicked now. They had avoided thinking about specifics.

Keith raised his arms in surrender. "Don't ask me how to approach people. Socially awkward half alien, remember?"

"Person who can talk to machines better than people here. We should make a note that we're never to be a team for a diplomatic mission," Pidge said.

Keith laughed. "Yes. Now get in there and tell your mother you're okay."

"You're coming with me because you need the car keys. Will you find your way to the mall?" Pidge dragged Keith to the front door.

"Yes. And in case I don't I have a phone that finally has service again now that we're on earth," Keith said.

Pidge laughed but broke off once faced with the doorbell. "Should I ring it? Or should I just walk in?"

"I think you should ring it just in case your mother did move out," Keith said, "avoid super awkward encounters just in case."

Pidge nodded and reached out to press the doorbell. Then they stopped with the finger already on the button but not yet pressing it.

"For fuck's sake," Keith said and bumped against their elbow which made the doorbell ring.

Pidge was about to hit Keith so hard but then they heard keys jingle and straightened up again, nervously biting their lip.

The door opened and reaved a woman that was most definitely Pidge's mother.

"Hey mom," Pidge said though it sounded more like a squeak, "guess what, I'm alive." They made awkward jazz hands and Keith facepalmed.

The woman's eyes were wide as saucers as she stared at Pidge. Tears started falling from her eyes and she covered her mouth with one hand. "I'm dreaming," she whispered.

"I promise you're not, I'm really here," Pidge said and reached out an arm to touch their mother. Tears were gathering in their own eyes now.

Their mother threw her arms around them and started sobbing.

Keith stood by the side kind of awkwardly as mother and child reunited but he was glad Pidge still had that possibility at least with their mother and possibly with their brother and father, too.

When they separated Pidge's mother opened her mouth but Pidge cut her off. "Before you ask all the questions you have and I give you all the answers I can, could Keith borrow your car? He has to buy some important stuff on earth and it's time sensitive."

Their mother looked up and spotted Keith who waved awkwardly.

She opened her mouth, then shut it again and sighed. "Sure." She turned around and got a key. She threw it to Keith. "Be careful."

Keith inclined his head. "Thank you, I will." He waved as he stepped away. "I'll be back soon."

"See ya," Pidge said and turned back to hug their mother once more.

He made room in the car and then loaded as many of the big empty boxes from Green's storage room in as would fit, which was only two. After he got all he needed he searched for the nearest mall on his phone, that finally had a connection once more and drove to it.

On the way, he listened to music that had come out after his departure. Gosh, it was so much! He would just have to download a ton to be able to listen to it once back in space because he really wouldn't have enough time on earth.

Once at the mall he made his way straight to the drug store. One of the employees was free so he handed her his prescription and said, "I need maybe ten times the usual amount." They wouldn't give him ten times the usual amount, he knew, but he'd start big anyway.

Her eyebrows rose. "You should consult your psychiatrist about heightening your dosage."

"No, my dosage stays the same, I just need more pills."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I'll be travelling and I'm not sure when I'll get back and I know I can't get any where I'm going." Keith at least tried to be subtle.

"Where are you going that you're that sure?" She cocked her head.

Keith sighed and gave up. "Space," he said in a flat voice, "do you know any drug stores in space?"

She snorted. "I don't." She frowned. "Five times."

"Nine." Keith smirked.

She laughed and went to the back of the store.

She returned shortly after with a pile of boxes. "Seven. No more."

Keith chuckled. "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, Season 5!!! I'm dead.  
> Keith and Krolia are the proof that I'm pan as hell.  
> How dare Kuron Shiro talk to our baby Lance like that, though!!  
> Holt family has me crying  
> Ok, bye sorry for the long wait


	6. Shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a silly thing but it's my fanfiction so I'm putting it in here

He had already filled the first box but was nowhere near finished with the list and in the store again. He felt awkward enough pushing his overfilled trolley, so he didn't get a second one, which meant he had to go multiple times.

But the trolley was full once more with the weirdest earth stuff that didn't go bad too fast and he ended up in the same line.

The cashier snorted. "What are you stacking up for? The zombie apocalypse?"

Keith had stopped giving a damn about secrecy by then, something that probably wouldn't have happened if he hadn't had such a long break from his meds, so he grinned and replied, "space."

She laughed. "You're an astronaut?"

"No," he said, "I'm an alien with earth friends who are really craving some alternative to alien goo."

She laughed again. "I can't tell how serious you."

He looked her in the eyes. "Dead serious."

  
***

He returned to Pidge's house with the two filled boxes.

It was only thanks to a recent invention by Pidge that he was able to get them into the lion. They'd taken inspiration from the Galra and designed a beam that could hold objects afloat. It was, of course, much smaller and weaker but it was perfect for displacing cargo.

Keith loaded two new boxes and returned to the mall.

He was happy about the task because it kept his mind busy and from thinking about his own, dead family and he was doing something his teammates would appreciate greatly.

***

"To be fair," he told the cashier, "I'm only part alien. So some of this stuff is for me, too."

She scanned the rice. "You know, as a cashier, you meet a lot of people on a daily basis, but I think you're the most interesting one yet."

I snorted. "What are your criteria that qualify me as interesting?"

"Either an alien or really good at keeping a straight face while bullshitting," she said.

...

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Keith."

She raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound very alien."

"My human dad gave it to me." Keith tried to make his voice sound like he didn't want to talk about it.

The cashier got it. "My name's Linda. Want to hear a secret?"

"Sure." Keith leaned in as she waved him closer.

"I'm not from this world," she whispered, then pulled back to scan the chips.

...

"What world are you from?" Keith asked.

"Hi to you, too, I was worried I had weirded you away," she said.

"It takes more than that. But my car doesn't have infinite storage room."

"So you took it to your spaceship?"

Keith nodded. "Exactly."

She held up a glass of peanut butter. "How much peanut butter do you need?"

"A tonne. My friend might be a little addicted and on withdrawal." He grinned.

She shook her head and continued to scan the peanut butter. "It doesn't exist anymore," she said after a bit, "it collapsed from all the world travelling."

"I'm sorry," he said.

She smiled and if it was a little pained no one needed to know that. "It's okay. I found a new home."

"Here?" Keith asked looking around the store.

She shook her head. "No, I'm just visiting here."

"And working."

"As I said, you meet a lot of people working as a cashier." She winked at him.

...

"I think I've got everything," Keith said.

"If you don't you can come back," Linda said.

"It's a bit hard from the other side of the universe."

She laughed.

"Ah, well, not if you can world travel I suppose." Keith frowned.

"True," Linda said, "though I don't usually hop worlds to do my shopping."

Keith laughed.

Linda held up the heart chocolate. "Is one of your friends maybe a bit more?"

Keith was mortified as he blushed. "No!"

"But you want one of them to be your special someone," she accused him.

"I don't want him to-" Keith cut himself off.

She laughed. "You so do."

Keith crossed his arms. "Do _you_  have a special someone?"

Her smile turned dreamy and looked so in love. "Yes."

Keith smiled. "Well then, have fun. I probably won't see you again."

She smirked. " _I_ will. If you're really part alien and come back to earth now and then, you're going to make headlines sooner or later. And then I'll find you and you'll tell me how it went with that guy."

Keith snorted but smiled. "Sure. It's only a goodbye for now, then?"

"Goodbye for now." Linda waved.


	7. Conversation

Keith sat in Green's storage because he was too awkward to go in and then sit with the Holts and maybe even talk to them.

He'd managed to find out the Wifi password (it was scmkscmk, the initials of the family, way too easy) and was now downloading as many songs and movies and books as he could.

He still had an hour, and that meant he would take full advantage of any storage space his phone and tablet provided.

Half an hour before they were set to go the communication device clicked. "Hey, Keith, my mom would like to meet you," Pidge's voice rang through.

"Uh, okay," Keith said and got out of the car.

Pidge giggled. "She won't kill you, she just wants to talk to a member of my team."

"I think the talking is what scares him," Lance chimed in, "attempts at getting killed he can handle with ease."

"Shut up, Lance," Keith shot back.

"Be nice to each other," Hunk said.

"You don't need to ring the- doorbell." Pidge sighed because right before they said doorbell, Keith rang it. "Just come in."

"Okay," Keith said and opened the door while he heard Lance and Hunk snicker in the background.

The connection cut off as he was greeted by Pidge and their mother.

She smiled, stood up from the sofa and offered him a hand. "Hello, Keith, I'm Colleen."

"Hello, nice to meet you." He shook her hand.

"Please, take a seat. Would you like some tea?" She indicated the tea set on the coffee table.

"Yes, please," he said and nervously sat down on one of the chairs.

Colleen filled a cup and handed it to him. "Pidge tells me you're part alien."

He took the cup to stop his hands from fidgeting nervously. "Yes. I wasn't aware of it for most of my life, though. I only found out a short time ago."

Colleen nodded. "Keith, I know I can't stop Pidge from going back, but please, please keep them safe." She lay a hand on his knee.

"They can be very insistent on not being safe but I promise, I'll, we all, will try our damn best to keep each other safe. Pidge is a very important member of the team and a dear friend to all of us. We'd be damned to let anything happen to them," Keith said.

Colleen smiled. "Okay. I'll trust you, thank you." She leaned back. "Now, tell me something about you that Pidge doesn't know."

Pidge snorted and leaned against their mother. Both looked exhausted and like they'd cried a lot.

Keith hummed. "I can play the entire Bohemian Rhapsody on a Grand Piano but nothing else."

Pidge's mouth fell open. "For real?"

Keith nodded.

"You have to show me!" Pidge hopped up and down all exhaustion gone.

"Do you have a piano?" Keith asked, "because I'm pretty sure we don't have one in space."

Pidge pouted. "We don't."

Colleen laughed. "Another fun fact?"

"Hm, I'm gay?"

"Everyone knows that!" Pidge said, "well, maybe not Lance but he's oblivious to his own bisexuality. And he didn't know I was assigned female a birth until I told him. Which, well, could be viewed as positive because he just accepts the gender you tell him you are, but he was so damn surprised!"

"He really was, that was hilarious." Keith smiled at the memory. "Also, am I really that obvious?"

"You're really not subtle about checking out guys for a start." Pidge smirked.

"Oops," Keith said and drank the delicious tea.

"Do the Lions have a personality?" Colleen suddenly asked.

"Oh, yeah," Keith said.

Pidge nodded. "Yes, Green is very adventurous and inquisitive. Hence why I pilot her."

"Red has an attitude," Keith said, and Colleen laughed, "all the other lions immediately opened up for their paladins I had to eject myself from an airlock before she'd let me pilot her."

"What?" Colleen stared at him.

"Yeah, but she caught me," Keith said, "and now she loves me a lot. She'll fight anything to get to me if I'm injured."

"Our lions are very protective of us." Pidge nodded.

Keith smiled. "Our space moms."

They all laughed, and Colleen was happy her child, who was no longer a child, not really, had found their place but her eyes betrayed her regret that it was so far away and they were still so young.

Pidge's phone alarm rang. They sighed. "We have to go."

Colleen frowned but got up. "I'll accompany you to the lion."

"Okay." Pidge lead the way.

Once they reached Green, Keith turned to Colleen. "It was nice to meet you. We will come back."

She smiled and shook his hand. "It was nice to meet you, too, Keith. Good luck."

Keith nodded. "Thank you. I'll, uh, give you some privacy." He climbed up into the lion while they said goodbye.

Pidge came back with tears in their eyes that Keith had no idea how to deal with. They didn't either, just sat down and started the lion up.

They took flight, flew a loop in the air and then Pidge turned the invisibility on. They reached for their communication device. "Hunk, we're on our way."

"Okay, I'll get ready," Hunk answered.

The communication shut off again.

Pidge sighed. "Anyway, how was your shopping?"

"Good, good," Keith said, "I got everything we need and had some crazy conversation with a cashier."

Pidge laughed. "Crazy how?"

"I told her I'm part alien, she told me she's from another world. It was fun," Keith said.

Pidge laughed. "That's good. You're having a good day then?"

Keith hummed. "Yes, usually when I've got things to do, things to keep my mind from thinking too much, it's good. I say usually because it can also be that I'm totally overwhelmed by having to do things and have a breakdown. It's... difficult and even I don't always know how to deal with things best."

"We'll help you as best we can," Pidge assured.

Keith smiled. "Thank you."

Shortly after that, they landed near Hunk's home, in the same place they had set him down. He was waiting there with two adults and a young girl who were unmistakeably his parents and sister.

"C'mon, let's say hi," Pidge said and left Green with Keith trailing after them.

While they walked over to where Hunk and his family were crying and hugging each other Keith could feel what had started in the lion getting stronger, his energy was disappearing quickly. Thoughts about his own family were getting through and dragging him down. He'd been doing well the whole day but now he felt more tired with every step and knew soon enough all he'd want to do was curl up in his bed and not come out for a long time.

He drifted off while Pidge exchanged a few words with Hunk's parents and only just managed to repeat his promise to take care of his teammates.

Soon after, though it didn't feel soon enough, they were back in Green. He let himself sink to the floor.

"Keith, you okay?" Pidge asked.

He hummed.

Hunk joined him on the floor while Pidge sat down in the pilot's seat but waited a moment longer before starting the lion.

"Feels like my energy just took a nosedive," Keith managed to say.

Hunk rubbed his back. "Can we help in any way?"

Keith shrugged. "Don't think so. It just happens and I'll get out of it again but that takes time." He closed his eyes.

Hunk arranged them so that Keith was leaning against him while Pidge took off. "We only have to get Lance, then we don't have to do anything else for the day. You can take it easy."

Keith hummed again, leaning into Hunk while the negative thoughts began to pour in more rapidly. He tried to imagine putting them on clouds and letting them fly away like he'd learnt in therapy but he just felt so damn tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of sick and stressed, so it might well be that the next chapter will come in a week or more like this one. Sorry. I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> All your comments about Linda on the last chapter made me and the one who gave her the name very happy, thx :D


	8. Back to Space

They set down in Cuba and Keith gather all the energy he had to get up and look somehow normal.

"Hey, if you want you can stay here, Lance won't be mad at you or anything," Hunk said hovering around Keith like he was about to fall.

Keith smiled a slow smile. "No, that wouldn't feel right. I'll be fine, don't worry."

"I've tried not worrying; it didn't work out well," Hunk said.

Keith just patted his arm and followed Pidge. If he was honest, he wanted to meet Lance's family for a few reasons. One was that Lance had such a huge family while Keith had only ever had his father in working memory, which made Keith curious about their family dynamics and how it felt to be in the middle of such a big group of people that loved each other as much as Lance had let on. Another was that they were of such importance to Lance so that Keith wanted to get to know them to understand Lance better.

When they exited Green Lance was already in the process of saying goodbye to the people that had accompanied him. It seemed to be a good move because Keith couldn't even count how many of them there were though that may have been due to his lethargy.

A woman who looked like she'd been crying a lot approached them. "Hi, Hunk, how are you?"

He smiled. "Hello, Rosa, I'm good. A bit sad to leave earth so soon. How are you doing?"

She sighed. "Worried sick. But I'm very relieved to know Lance is alright." She turned to the other two. "You are Keith and Pidge, I assume."

They nodded.

"It's nice to meet you." She smiled. "I heard the three of you have been taking good care of my baby."

"As best we can," Pidge said.

"Thank you." She looked over to where he was hugging one of his brothers or cousins goodbye. "He's my darling boy, you know. I really didn't like it when he went to the Garrison. And now he lives in space and fights aliens." She shook her head. "Please watch out for each other."

"Will do," Hunk reassured her.

Another woman joined them. 

"Veronica, is it?" Hunk asked.

She grinned. "That's me. Hunk, right?"

He nodded.

She leaned closer to us with a smirk. "How often does he make a fool of himself trying to be flirty?"

Keith felt a chuckle escape him.

Pidge smirked back while Hunk laughed out loud. "Every single day."

Veronica's eyes light up. "Tell me."

Pidge giggled. "Has he told you about Allura?"

"The alien princess?"

"Yes. Let's just say I could draw her annoyed-at-Lance's-flirt-attempts face from memory and I can't even draw." Pidge smirked even wider.

Veronica threw her head back in laughter and didn't see Lance coming over with his two brothers.

"Do I have to be scared now?" he asked going for as lighthearted as he could with tearful eyes.

Veronica threw an arm around him. "No, no, no reason to be scared. Maybe embarrassed."

He sighed but smiled and hugged her. They exchanged some words which Keith probably could have understood if he'd had the energy to try, but he didn't.

Lance proceeded to say goodbye to his mother, too, and Keith zoned out a bit until Pidge nudged him and said his name.

"Hm?" Keith looked at Pidge and then at Lance's brother who seemed to have asked a question. "Sorry, spaced out."

Lance stopped what he was doing to stare at Keith. "Was that a pun?" His eyes were glinting.

Keith groaned as the others laughed. "Not intended."

"So, you're the part alien?" The younger of the brothers asked.

"Yes," Keith said.

He frowned. "But you look like a human."

Keith shrugged. "I don't know why either. I have purple eyes but otherwise... actually Galra don't have purple eyes, everything else on them is purple."

"And furry," Pidge said, "Keith is a furry."

Lance's siblings laughed, and Keith was just glad Lance's mother hadn't heard.

"Am not. Anyway, I don't know how my genes work and if I'm honest I'd rather not be experimented on," he said.

"I hate to be that person." Pidge held up a timer. "But we don't have time anymore."

In fact, we had 40 Dobash left, which was fewer minutes.

"Oh, shit," Lance and hugged all his closest family members once more and made some last promises in Spanish before following us into the lion.

He took a big bag with him, which now that Keith thought about it Hunk had had one, too, but it had been a bit smaller.

Pidge flew a goodbye loop once more and then sped towards the edge of the solar system. After they left the atmosphere and with it the turbulence Keith sank down along the wall to sit on the floor. He was just kind of staring at his hands on his knees until Lance sat down next to him.

"Hey buddy, you okay?" he asked.

Keith looked up. "Hm. Not really."

Lance frowned but then had an idea. "Have I told you about the time I tried to climb a tree and fell on my ass?"

"No." Keith smiled a tiny bit as Lance started to tell the story.

They didn't even realise they were through the wormhole until Pidge landed Green in the hangar in the castle. 

Lance grabbed Keith by the hand. "C'mon, let's sort through that wonderful pile of earth food - finally - and store it where it needs to be stored.

Keith let himself be pulled along and was very grateful for the distraction Lance offered and also the prospect of eating something other than weird alien things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been so long and sorry it's so short. I haven't been able to write lately and now that I had a bit of time I just made something short because I wanted to post something again. I hope you liked it anyway.


	9. Teaser

"Hey, I have news," the entering member of the Blade of Marmora said as the door slid closed behind her.

"I'm busy," the figure tapping on the holographic screen said.

"You'll want to hear it," the intruder insisted, "it's about the paladins of Voltron."

The figure froze.

"Or more specifically your son."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you could probably gather, the story isn't over yet. Despite not really being able to write I've been thinking a lot about it and I have big plans that involve Krolia, Lotor, Shiro and some more (Klance, of course, it should be obvious I'd write that). However, it will take me some time to write and publish that. If you want you can leave the story as it is and imagine it goes back to canon after they return to space but if you want to see what I've got planned, subscribe to the series. I'd be thrilled.


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